Spanish golfing legend Seve Ballesteros has asked himself several times why he was struck down with a brain tumour whose effects still plague him and has forced him to abandon an emotional return to St Andrews next week, the scene of one of his greatest triumphs in the British Open.
The 53-year-old told The Daily Telegraph - his first newspaper interview for 18 months - in an often emotional state that he cannot understand the swings and balances of his life.
"Every day I see the unbelievable things that happen to people and I don't understand why," said Ballesteros, who is residing on doctors orders in his house Pedrena 'his paradise' as he calls it above the Bay of Santander.
"I think 'Why does it happen to those people'. I think the same thing with myself. Why did it happen to me? It is unfair, because I have been a good person. But it happens to some people and not to others.
"Why did I win at St Andrews (in 1984) out of 170 players? Maybe I was lucky. This is my approach to life: some days are good, some are bad. Some people are lucky, some are unlucky."
However, Ballesteros - who lives virtually alone save his nephew and manager Javier as his three children have gone to live in Madrid with their mother Carmen - equates his health with a round of golf.
"It's like when you start a round," said Ballesteros, a three-time Open winner and two-time US Masters champion.
"You bogey the first three holes, but there are still 15 to play. Here I am more or less at the 12th hole."
Ballesteros, who underwent four operations in 2008 to remove a brain tumour, before undergoing chemotherapy sessions, concedes that he is brutally aware now of his fragility and his mortality.
"There is always a beginning and there is always an end.
"This is the difficult thing, when you see that the end is coming."
Copyright 2010 AFP Global Edition
